Have you ever suffered the silence, the rejection, and the shame of a loved one? How about many loved ones? How about almost ALL your loved ones? It is one of the most painful experiences that this life can give.
Have you been cast off as the ‘black sheep’ of your family? The unworthy one? Even after numerous sleepless nights of prayer and fasting, letters of repentance, pleas of forgiveness, gut wrenching phone call after phone call being met with nothing but disgust and disdain, all just short of sackcloth and ashes? It hurts beyond words. It can be tormenting if you let it. I have experienced this first-hand and without remedy. It haunts night and day and is relentless in it’s accusing, shame-based accounts of every thing wrong you have ever done and tries desperately to keep you held to eternal damnation. There is no room for reconciliation, restoration, forgiveness, or love of any kind.
Those that feel justified in throwing the first stone are narcissistic in the deepest parts of their soul. That dark place they think is invisible to their Creator is actually eating them alive as they breathe. Sin is sin. There are no levels that are worst than others as the bible is very clear. When others are unwilling to forgive, they are actually living in fear of their own actions. Would their sins be less than ours? Praise be to God we don’t have to be subject to another human beings charge of us.
Jesus Christ tells us to forgive each other Seventy times Seven and to always have hope that someone will come to repentance. We can always be looking for reconciliation no matter our circumstances, but, we do not need to put ourselves in harms way from others. Remove yourself from those who want nothing to do with you. Your identity is not subject to anyone’s view of you. You have a life to live, with love to spread abroad to those who will receive it.
If your desire is to be well-pleasing to your husband, Jesus Christ, He is faithful to show you when and where you made mistakes, and will give you wisdom to do all within your power to bring reconciliation. But, abuse is still abuse, and when you ask God to show you where the unhealthy relationships are, He will show you specifically the Truth, all for the asking.
Put a stop to your enemy’s words! Come out from under the heavy burden of condemnation. Pray for those you love, and live your life in freedom with the one that will never turn His back on you.
On a journey of healing and hope with you,
Terri Lynne